Traditional Marriage Vs Modern Pt.1
I had a very interesting conversation with my cousin this week, who I have discussions with daily to be able to write these blogs. The topic of discussion was, whether a woman can differentiate between what makes up traditional marriage and what makes up a modern marriage. After going back and forth, my cousin and I decided to ask a few women we know what their opinions are on the two types of marriage, the pros and cons of both and which one they feel like they identify with more. Traditional marriage is subjective depending on what culture you come from but most have a similar understanding that the wife must be submissive and the husband must be the breadwinner and leader of the union. After getting a few messages back from the friends we asked we got some of the following answers in regards to a modern-day husband:
- A provider, by definition of the word.
- A supportive partnership.
- A willingness to be open and vulnerable.
- In touch with their emotions but not overly sensitive.
- Firm and assertive when necessary
- A great dad
- Great in bed and great with family
Another friend responded to the question of how they viewed modern wives with the following answer:
Modern Day Wife:
- May challenge husbands when they disagree
- More likely to have an active social life that is separate from the husbands
- More likely to experiment sexually
- Direct independence
- Sometimes the breadwinner
- Gender roles reversed e.g husbands staying home to look after the kids.
Then we were then hit with a very good question:
She then went on to add: "On one hand, divorce rates are higher in the modern-day however this may be due to women actively taking control when there are things they are unhappy with within the marriage"
After thinking about all the feedback we got which was very informative. I then thought with all the information given that modern-day marriage seems to be about equality for women more than equality for marriage. What I mean by this is that it seems like women want to be able to contribute the same things as men, which is completely fine but then with that contribution comes a loss in the other aspects of marriage.
I believe men should have domestic skills. My father always told me never to rely on a woman to look after you. Learn to look after yourself. With that being said, modern-day men are developing the skills needed to be self-reliant but when you mix this with a relationship or a marriage, these contributions are be dismissed as nothing from the same people who didn't feel valued when they were solely told to do them. Women.
We don't want to much of one thing, humans need balance. So if two people are contributing the same things something is definitely gonna go missing. Too many hands spoil a broth.
If I'm adding salt and you're adding salt it's gonna be too much. If I'm adding money and your adding money, hell yeah were rich but we're also losing something else. I could be rich with my friends too, rich with associates so what else are we gonna have?
Relationships are about teamwork. Partnerships. Everyone has positions to play. In Traditional days people played one role and played it well. Now both teams can play multiple roles but that doesn't mean they should always be played at the same time. The way society works now we both have to play the working role. We both have to contribute financially, we both have to contribute domestically. So why is it that men are developing the skills necessary to do both and women are developing the skills needed in society but losing the skills needed in nurturing? Don't get me wrong there's still a lot of men out there with the caveman old school mentality but it seems like there's a lot of women fighting to have the exact same mentality. Less and fewer women know how to cook. Fewer women are in meaningful relationships and fewer women could tell you what they contribute to a relationship outside of finances. The right to be who we want to be and have limitless success should apply to all. Equality should apply to all but society will not allow men to have more domestic roles in marriage and not be criticized. Do you think a man can be respected in this society for being the nurturing husband at home if his wife was a successful businesswoman? The answer is no. Could a woman be the nurturing housewife if her husband was financially successful? Of course. That just goes back to traditional roles and means there is still more elements of society in favour of traditional marriage as opposed to modern. Modern marriages have a lot more challenges to overcome in society and women themselves will have to deal with the acceptance of a different type of man if they want to participate in a modern marriage. A woman will have to deal with sharing some of the burdens such as being a provider, a protector and some the other typical traits listed above that women still want in the men that catch their eye. When female animals choose their mates they go for the strongest male. In our society, the strongest male is the one with money and social status. Do these things take a knock when a woman wants to share the roles in a relationship and if they do, will they still feel satisfied with the partner they have chosen in the long run or will their animal nature push back to the forefront?
- A provider, by definition of the word.
- A supportive partnership.
- A willingness to be open and vulnerable.
- In touch with their emotions but not overly sensitive.
- Firm and assertive when necessary
- A great dad
- Great in bed and great with family
Another friend responded to the question of how they viewed modern wives with the following answer:
Modern Day Wife:
- May challenge husbands when they disagree
- More likely to have an active social life that is separate from the husbands
- More likely to experiment sexually
- Direct independence
- Sometimes the breadwinner
- Gender roles reversed e.g husbands staying home to look after the kids.
Then we were then hit with a very good question:
Is traditional Marriage better in terms of being successful? (happiness, longevity and fulfilment)
She then went on to add: "On one hand, divorce rates are higher in the modern-day however this may be due to women actively taking control when there are things they are unhappy with within the marriage"
After thinking about all the feedback we got which was very informative. I then thought with all the information given that modern-day marriage seems to be about equality for women more than equality for marriage. What I mean by this is that it seems like women want to be able to contribute the same things as men, which is completely fine but then with that contribution comes a loss in the other aspects of marriage.
I believe men should have domestic skills. My father always told me never to rely on a woman to look after you. Learn to look after yourself. With that being said, modern-day men are developing the skills needed to be self-reliant but when you mix this with a relationship or a marriage, these contributions are be dismissed as nothing from the same people who didn't feel valued when they were solely told to do them. Women.
We don't want to much of one thing, humans need balance. So if two people are contributing the same things something is definitely gonna go missing. Too many hands spoil a broth.
If I'm adding salt and you're adding salt it's gonna be too much. If I'm adding money and your adding money, hell yeah were rich but we're also losing something else. I could be rich with my friends too, rich with associates so what else are we gonna have?
Relationships are about teamwork. Partnerships. Everyone has positions to play. In Traditional days people played one role and played it well. Now both teams can play multiple roles but that doesn't mean they should always be played at the same time. The way society works now we both have to play the working role. We both have to contribute financially, we both have to contribute domestically. So why is it that men are developing the skills necessary to do both and women are developing the skills needed in society but losing the skills needed in nurturing? Don't get me wrong there's still a lot of men out there with the caveman old school mentality but it seems like there's a lot of women fighting to have the exact same mentality. Less and fewer women know how to cook. Fewer women are in meaningful relationships and fewer women could tell you what they contribute to a relationship outside of finances. The right to be who we want to be and have limitless success should apply to all. Equality should apply to all but society will not allow men to have more domestic roles in marriage and not be criticized. Do you think a man can be respected in this society for being the nurturing husband at home if his wife was a successful businesswoman? The answer is no. Could a woman be the nurturing housewife if her husband was financially successful? Of course. That just goes back to traditional roles and means there is still more elements of society in favour of traditional marriage as opposed to modern. Modern marriages have a lot more challenges to overcome in society and women themselves will have to deal with the acceptance of a different type of man if they want to participate in a modern marriage. A woman will have to deal with sharing some of the burdens such as being a provider, a protector and some the other typical traits listed above that women still want in the men that catch their eye. When female animals choose their mates they go for the strongest male. In our society, the strongest male is the one with money and social status. Do these things take a knock when a woman wants to share the roles in a relationship and if they do, will they still feel satisfied with the partner they have chosen in the long run or will their animal nature push back to the forefront?
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