Selflessness

Relationships stand the test of time because being selfless is something that has to be consistently present. 

In modern society, we are taught to do for ourselves to make ourselves happy, and while I agree that we must have a sense of self to be fulfilled, we must also have a balance of doing for others to feel complete. 

If you've ever spoken to or know anything about religion, one of the critical components is to give. To give yourself to your God, and you will receive your blessings. Being selfless is an essential character in a person. 

Selflessness is a trait we are all born with, but as we grow and as society dictates how we live, we are unlearning this fundamental skill that creates complication in our social aspect. 

We are beginning to care for one another with stipulations in place. We are, at times, only involved in situations if the circumstances solely benefit one party. We live in a time where compromising is being seen as one person losing power in a relationship. The fact that there is an element of control in relationships now is where we are going wrong. Relationships shouldn't be seen as a power struggle because both individuals should want to give themselves to one another. They should always want to seek to help the person they have committed to, emotional, financially, mentally, sexually and spiritually. In a relationship, the person you are with is now an extended version of you. So you should want to make sure that person is happy just like you would want to be happy in yourself. You should want that person to be fulfilled just as you seek fulfilment in yourself. The want for that person to be happy should be as strong as if it's for yourself. 

But then I would get the response of "But that's not realistic." "Not everyone thinks like that." and that is true. But that's where the partner you select is vital. The partner you pick always has to be open. Open to work on themselves. To grow, to learn and unlearn habits that hinder them from being available to you. 

Do you look at your relationship as a partnership? Do you look at your relationship as both parties taking care of one another in whatever circumstance? Is your partner willing to cook for you if they can save you time from making something when you come home from work? Is your partner ready to help you financially if you're short with money on a bill or payment? There are expectations that we have of our partners, of course, it's only natural but do you have the attitude to help your partner if they lack in a specific area at a particular time in the life? The roles men and women play in society are becoming blurred, I've mentioned this in a previous article that I will leave a link to. With women becoming more self-sufficient, are women losing the nurturing mentality, meaning they are becoming more selfish because there is nothing they no longer require from their partner but a presence? Are Men becoming somewhat just another accolade in modern women's journey? Are men aware of this attitude, which causes the effect of no longer wanting to commit cause there is absolutely nothing in it for them anymore? This post is more about questions we need to be asking instead of me giving answers. This trend I'm witnessing, and the attitude I'm seeing from men and women doesn't give me much hope for pure, long-lasting relationships in the future. In the era of instant satisfaction, it's only a matter of time when men and women's desires for companionship are no longer necessary, and sexual accessories become normalized. Tradition and roles are no longer important, and self-gain is the only plan for both men and women. It takes a village to raise a child. That attitude evolves you into doing for someone with no expectation of getting anything back, but with people taking advantage by not giving and just taking you can't expect the next generation to do any different. 

Traditional marriage vs modern pt1.